So here’s the thing. I kinda sorta promised someone that I’d have a new post by Sunday. I kept thinking about it today and realized halfway through the day that if I don’t at least start the draft now then I’m definitely not gonna be able to post on Sunday. Because shit happens.
I mean I don’t want it to, I doubt anyone does, but life has a way of making sure the unexpected always happens, you know?
So here’s to shit not happening. At least for a while.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things recently, as most humans naturally do. Some of the thoughts I can barely even remember. It’s like when you have it right at the tip of your tongue, or brain in this instance, but can’t quite seem to recall. I’m sure there’s a word for that but I can’t bring myself to google it. Mostly because I’m lazy but also because sometimes mystery is a good thing. Keeps things interesting.
I mean just think about that one guy who keeps creeping around and just kind of being there but not really there, you know what I mean? I’m sure you’ve seen that one guy around somewhere. In your neighbourhood, around town, in your closet maybe. Who knows for sure.
Anyways, yeah, random fucking thoughts.
The one I remember in particular is about relationships and how I absolutely fucking suck at them. Also I’m starting to realize how bad my cussing is getting but I’m at that age where I honestly don’t care. You only have one option which is pretty much just to deal with it or not. I doubt I’m gonna change who I am for someone who might not entirely be in my life for forever. Which is actually one of the points I was going to raise on said topic.
First off, let me start by saying that change, like global warming, is inevitable. It will always happen. No matter who you think you are or what you are, it’ll always happen. However, when it comes to relationships, mine included and the ones I’ve observed over the course of my billion year stay on this wonderful space marble called Earth, I’ve noticed one thing in common;
Everyone and their father (can’t bring mothers into this, I’d like to not be hunted down by a pack of wolves, said wolves being you, dear reader[s?] damn this is a long bracket or whatever shit I have to get back) seems to force said change.
Like, yo, don’t force shit. Just let it happen.
I’m of the opinion that relationships should be taken care of like you take care of a new born baby.
“Well that’s just a stupid thing to say pfft I can’t take advice from my laptop screen that’s absurd!” you say as you swipe Cheeto dust off your keyboard. Listen to me you lovely meat potato you. Relationships are a fickle thing. Humans have the uncanny ability to be even more fickle. It’s like we were designed to be smart but also stupid at the same time. We’re the perfect walking contradiction.
If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense to treat the person you’re dating like a baby, because if you don’t, you’ll be the unlucky idiot who has baby puke all over their clothes. Puke and poop and pee and all the wonderful things babies can’t control because they’re babies. What were you expecting? A fucking manual? Jeez.
So back to my original point. Which I don’t even remember because I imagined having to take care of another living thing, which is practically what happens when you’re dating someone.
CHANGE! DO NOT FUCKING FORCE THIS SHIT. THINGS WILL END BADLY IF YOU DO. See, if you start forcing someone to do what they don’t want to do or haven’t thought of doing, then they’ll see it as a bother and then shit just starts crumbling from there. And this is why I likened change to a baby. You ever notice how babies just figure stuff out by themselves? I mean yeah you introduce them to the thing, whatever it is, in the first place but then the rest is just self discovery. That’s how it should be with your significant other.
Show them the thing. If they respond positively then you’re among the lucky ones, if they don’t you just have to use your brain and figure out another way to show them the thing. This is where I’m gonna use myself as an anecdote because I’m like the world’s leading narcissist but I somehow have the confidence of a fucking snail (that could be an insult to snails but I honestly don’t know, haven’t talked to one in a while).
Is it just me or do you see less snails during summer . . . ?
To be continued because it’s 1:30am and I need to sleep. My sanity is already at the peak of degradation, gotta hang on to what I have. So I guess this’ll be part one. Maybe part two will come on Sunday, so hey, you get what you wanted and then some.